BIRTH

Above are a couple definitions of the term "birth." The reason I am writing about this particular word is because it seems some people do not fully understand the meaning! 

Once I learned I would have to give birth via a Cesearan delivery, I read a lot of articles/blogs about other womens' experiences. Going into this, especially being my first child, I wanted to be somewhat prepared on what to expect. My husband and I even took a C-Section class at the hospital to ensure we were prepared as much as we possibly could be. 

In doing these things, I learned something that really struck a nerve with me...

Apparently, people out there claim that women who give birth via C-Section "aren't real women," or "are taking the easy way out."

WHAT??!!???

This really surprised me! I couldn't believe so many people wrote about this and truly believed it. Especially seeing WOMEN write or say these things about other women!

Even in the C-Section class we took, the nurse instructor made sure to tell us,

"Don't let anyone tell you you're less of a women for giving birth this way.."

The thought of such negativity on this way of giving birth had never crossed my mind and I was in shock that it was even a topic of discussion to others.    

Which brings me back to the above definitions. Do you see anywhere in those definitions that say HOW birth is performed? 

EXACTLY! That's because BIRTH is just that...Being born, giving life. It is not determined how that baby gets out! 

All of us women, carrying or that have carried a child all go through the nine months of pregnancy. 

We all endure a number of pregnancy symptoms, all in which are not very fun! Just to name a few....

-morning sickness 

-food adversions 

-back aches

-swolen feet

-achy feet

-exhaustion 

-stretch marks

-skin rashes (PUPP)

-mood swings

-sore breast 

-frequent trips to the bathroom

The list could go on and on. When carrying a child us women may not experience all of these symptoms, but a number of them!

All of us women go through extreme body changes. More than what we are used to. You can't fit into your clothes anymore, you don't feel like wearing anything other than baggy, comfortable clothes! Getting dressed up for work or special events are a struggle. 

All of us women keep up with making it to monthly appointments. Having your lady parts constantly looked at, peeing in a cup, talk about all of the weird symptoms you may be having. And like me, if you have other underlying issues in your pregnancy or any diseases (i.e. hypothyroidism) that have to be monitored, you have even more appointments to attend each month. 

All of us women go through the awkward pregnancy stage where people aren't really sure if you're pregnant or just getting fat! That's fun! 

All of us women go through the anxiety of making sure you have everything you need for when baby arrives. Will you even have everything you need? Which brand is the best for my baby? What has the best reviews? What if I get the wrong kind? What about diapers and wipes? How many sleepers and onesies do I need? What if nothing fits? Nursery furniture, where do I start? Everything is so expensive! How will we ever afford this baby? Can I afford to take maternity leave? How long can I take for maternity leave? 6-8 weeks, that's all? How long will my husband get off work to help me? 1 week, that's all? Then what? Where will my baby go to daycare? Can we afford that? I have to leave my child with strangers to care for just after a couple months from birth? Who is the best pediatrician for my baby? What do we name our baby? Family wants you to keep family names going..what if we don't want to? Gosh, this list could really go on and on!! 

Should I breast feed or not? 

Some of us women know for sure that they are going to try to breastfeed. Some of us know for sure we only want to use formula. Some of us have no idea! What if I am set on breast feeding, but my milk doesn't come in or my baby won't latch? What if I only want to use formula and people judge me for not trying to breast feed? 

Breast feeding is very time consuming and at times, exhausting. There is nothing wrong with trying it for awhile and deciding it's just not going to work out best for you. Or not trying at all! As long as you're baby is getting fed, that is all that matters right? Women shouldn't judge other women for how they are feeding their child. They could not be feeding them at all! 

All of us women worry about how our bodies are going to bounce back after delivery. The pressure to lose weight and get back in shape haunts you! How are you suppose to worry about that when you are going to be constantly caring for a newborn? When will I have the time to focus on myself?

All of us women are talked to about post partum depression. Not only do we have to worry about all of the above, we have to worry about being depressed on top of it all! Our hormones are already haywire during pregnancy, and now we are told it could get worse? What if I don't bond with my baby? 

These are just a few things that a pregnant woman has on her shoulders. Things that ALL women carrying a child experience and can go through. None of which is even determine HOW they give birth! 

Now think that all of us women typically have a certain birth plan in mind! What happens if that gets compromised? 

This is why I don't understand why it matters whether you give birth vaginally or via a C-Section. More often than not, if you're having to have a C-Section, there is a reason. A reason that is most likely medically decided upon whether you want to do it or not. 

If a woman develops preeclampsia, placenta previa, infections, having multiples, baby becomes in distress, cord wrapped around baby cutting off oxygen, high blood pressure, etc...they may not have the choice on how they deliver. 

How does that make them less of a woman? 

They carried that baby for nine months, encountering all of the same symptoms, stress and worry as any other pregnant woman that will deliver vaginally. Getting that baby out safe and sound at the end of your pregnancy should be all that matters! 

Women should empower all women, especially when going through a pregnancy and delivery, regardless of the type of delivery. We all went through the same things leading up to delivery, right? 

My personal experience with having a C-Section was disheartening at times. Being extremely sick after surgery, to the point I could not even keep pain medication down, feeling so extremely sore and weak that I couldn't get up out of bed by myself. The fact that I had to have someone bring my baby to me each time to hold or to feed, was frustrating. Having to slowly build my strength back up to walk on my own, and to pick up my own child, was annoyingly frustrating. Not being able to sleep, because no position with an incision in your lower abdominal area is comfortable. Only being able to hold your baby a certain way that is not painful, was the worst. Especially since I am breast feeding. Finally getting home and realizing you cannot get in and out of your own bed without pain. Hearing your baby cry and taking you, what feels like a lifetime to get up without hurting yourself, to comfort them. 

But you push through it. You become superwoman! My child was brought into the world safely and that was all I cared about. I couldn't believe after experiencing all that I had so far from this delivery, that people would view me as "less of a woman," or that "I took the easy way out." 

A little over two weeks post surgery, still having pains getting up and down and in and out of bed, my baby girl is still perfect and she knows no difference of HOW she entered this world. All she knows, hopefully, is how loved she is and how much of a champ she is for pushing through placenta previa and delivering almost three weeks early! 

She nailed it! :)