We Waited A Long Time For This

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! = )

I never thought the day would come that I would finally feel happiness from the feeling of having LIFE grow inside of me! So much time spent wondering what this moment would feel like, and here it is. I was in shock, but soooo unbelievably happy!

The feeling is unlike anything I imagined it would be. And I don't know that I can fully describe it to its full potential. I am sure a lot of you women out there know what it feels like to have life growing inside of you and to feel overwhelmed with joy, but this is all new to me! Especially after waiting and waiting, thinking it may never happen, that I may never get to feel this feeling...it makes all of this so much more amazing. All of the time, worry, money, tears, injections, medications, fear...it just faded away when we heard that wonderful news! It did not matter HOW we got pregnant, all that mattered was that we were and were soon going to bring a miracle baby into the world! We are beyond thankful and appreciative right now!!!

I am finally making my amazing husband a father! Oh my gosh, I cannot believe it. He is seriously going to be the greatest dad to this baby. He smiles a lot more now, which makes me smile a lot more now! We have been a pretty good team throughout all of this, I must say. I couldn't imagine having to go through this with anyone else but him. He was put in my life for a reason...sent to me as my angel. Evidentially this journey was in my destiny all along, and Bud was destined to save me.

I didn't walk down the aisle to the song, Halo by Beyoncé for no reason people!

We wanted to celebrate, scream and shout to the world, but we knew we couldn't just yet. After doing IVF, that ninth day you take the blood test, you are only considered to be 4 weeks pregnant. Still very early to tell the world. Anything could go wrong, God forbid, so we wanted to keep things to ourselves for awhile. When we told our family and friends, we wanted it to be nothing be happiness and come without worry that something bad could still happen. Not to say that nothing could ever go wrong in a pregnancy, but you are more in the clear after you are about 12 weeks along. So we decided to wait until that point to tell ANYONE! It was going to be extremely hard....but we got this. We have kept most everything else about our journey a secret so far, so we could contain this secret a little while longer.

September 12, 2016 was the day we heard the best news ever! At the end of month in September, Bud and I were scheduled to be off work for a week. It couldn't have worked out any better. Though we did not have any plans to go anywhere, because we did not know if we would have appointments or procedures scheduled, I was still looking forward to a week off with him. To finally be able to relax and enjoy this excitement. Bud was under the impression that since we got good news we should be going somewhere for a vacation! We had only been on one vacation since this journey began, so it was definitely well overdue. However, we only have two weeks to plan a get away and I was more worried about going away on such short notice and spending money we did not have. We have already forked out too much money recently, we could not afford to go on a vacation all of the sudden. Plus we had two dogs, one in which is still a puppy, that we would have to arrange care for at the last minute. It was just too short of a time frame to plan a weeks get away, with not a lot of money to spend. Yet, Bud thought the complete opposite. For once, we were NOT on the same page. Haha!

Our last week at work, before our vacation week, Bud ended up telling me we WERE going somewhere for our vacation week and told me not to ask questions, just pack my bags for warm weather. WHAATT? Did he not listen to anything I said? After telling him over and over we could not do this, he said it's already done, we leave Saturday morning, so get over it and start packing! I said, "What about our dogs?" He said, "It is taken care of."

While I was so appreciative that he planned this get away, I was still worried on the inside. But he assured me, WE NEEDED THIS. Our worrying days were gone and it was time to relax and do something for ourselves for a change. I guess he made a good point. I obviously wasn't talking my way out of this, so I guess we are going! As the week came to an end, I started getting more excited. All I knew is that we were going somewhere in Florida. WhooHoo! I couldn't wait to spend the week with him, on a beach, without a worry in the world, knowing we are pregnant and can opening talk about it as much as we want because it would just be us two there! Told ya'll...he was my angel!

We ended up going to Okaloosa Island/Fort Walton Beach! It has always been one of my favorite locations to go to in Florida! He booked us a very nice condo from Saturday night through Wednesday. We had our first ultrasound appointment at KFI scheduled for that Thursday, so had to be back in time for that!

It was the perfect little get away. We had such a good time together. It had been a long time since we really enjoyed something. I couldn't thank him enough for planning it all and letting us escape for a few days! Thank you again, hubby!

We got back to Louisville Wednesday night. I was happy to be back home and we were both excited to go back to KFI the next day for our first ultrasound to see baby! I was a little nervous about it, too, however. I was only 6 weeks along, not really having many pregnancy symptoms, what if something is wrong? There goes that worry in me again. It was like second nature to me now.

When we got to our appointment at KFI that Thursday, it was such a different feeling walking in there. I had been back already a few times for blood work to keep checking my HCG levels, but walking in that day, with Bud, knowing so far everything was going well, all of the staff at KHI saying Hello to us and congratulating us...it was amazing. I never had this feeling before, walking into these offices, at any specialist or doctors appointment the past few years. I couldn't believe we were about to see our little miracle for the first time on an ultrasound! I was giddy with excitement.

Bud was holding my hand so tight, as we sat back in the ultrasound room, waiting for the doctor. We were both a little nervous, but overall excited! We saw a different doctor because ours was out on maternity leave, which we were aware of. He congratulated us as he came in, asked a few questions and then got right to the ultrasound. There he/she was. A little bitty thing, but he/she was in there. We could see the flicker, faintly, from the heart beat which gave me instead relief! My eyes filled with the happiest tears when I saw that flicker. I look over at Bud and see his eyes glistening, too. It was such a monumental moment for us. Everything we went through, lead us to this moment. This was really happening! Ahh, I still couldn't believe it.

The doctor said everything looked great so far. We would come back in two more weeks for another ultrasound and as long as everything continued to look good at that appointment, then that would be our last appointment at The Kentucky Fertility Institute. Just thinking about that was bittersweet. We did not want to leave there. We loved it there. They got us here, and we wanted to stay until the end. Unfortunately, it does not work that way. We will forever be grateful for the KFI and how much they helped us get our dream!

It was so hard for us to keep this a secret from everyone. However, even though everything was looking good far, we had to hold it in for a little while longer! When we went back to KFI for our, possibly, last appointment we had one more ultrasound. At this point, I was 8 weeks along. The doctor brought up our little miracle again on the ultrasound and this time, we got to hear the most amazing sound I have ever heard.....the heartbeat! Instant waterworks flooded over us, as we both lost it! How is this really happening? Our miracle is still in there, with a beautiful heartbeat and growing! Even looking at it and hearing it, I STILL could not believe it.

After the ultrasound, we met with the doctor to go over everything thus far. He answered any questions we had and gave me final instructions for the remainder of my medications. Yes, I have still been taking medications, even since we found out there was a baby in there. To maintain the pregnancy, I was still instructed to take the injections, in my back, every single night, until I was 10 weeks along. Gosh, I could not wait to be finished with these shots. I was also taking a gel form of progesterone, inserted vaginally, until I was 10 weeks along. Two more weeks of this, I can do it! As the doctor went on with a farewell to us in his office, I got so sad. I did not want to leave this place! Bud went on telling him how much we loved it there and wish we could stay under their care until the end.

The doctor also gave us a wonderful gift to send us off. It was so thoughtful, yet not surprising that they would do that. I don't want to tell you what the gift was, in case anyone else is currently going there or going to go there. I want you to be surprised when you get to this point in YOUR journey!!

We sadly said our goodbyes to them and thanked them over and over and over and over and over and over....sorry, but we did! Gosh, they were great to us. We highly recommend The Kentucky Fertility Institute in Louisville to anyone needing help in there fertility struggles! You will not be disappointed!

In two more weeks, I would have my first appointment back at my gyno as a pregnant patient. Gosh, I haven't been there in a while! Bud was not happy at all about having to go to this doctor now. He just wanted to stay where we were. But again, it does not work that way. We now had to be placed in the hands of the doctor that was eventually going to deliver our little miracle baby! He got over it, but was not happy at first!

Starting at this 10 week appointment I will begin to be treated as a normal pregnant patient! No more medications, no more weekly to bi-weekly appointments. Yay! FINALLY!! WE made it to this point! I could not be happier right now! We never gave up hope and this is why!

Our journey is just beginning...