IVF Results

The nine day wait was coming to an end.

I had not started feeling any different yet, so was already doubting it worked. I don't even know how I was expecting to feel 8 days post transfer, I had never done this before. I was just always looking for the smallest symptom...Which was stupid. I did it every time with the IUI and that got me nowhere. I was only hoping this time was REALLY going to be different and I would feel SOMETHING before I took the blood test. Yet, I felt nothin'.

The day before my scheduled blood test, I was a nut case. It was a Sunday, so we just hung out at the house all day. I tried to stay busy with house chores, but my mind would not shut off. Knowing that the very next day I was going to find out, probably the biggest news of my life so far, and all I could do was sit and wait; it was seriously enough to drive anyone crazy.

Bud kept reminding me that no matter what happened, we were going to be fine! I am pretty sure we were both prepared to get a negative test. That is all we were used to. So Bud was prepping me with positive encouragements throughout the day. However, he would have just assumed not talk about it at all! That is usually how he deals with it during these "waits." He was so nervous himself, even though he acted like he wasn't a total nut case like me, I KNOW him and I knew it was killing him inside. As it should though. We both had a lot invested in this treatment...we were terrified to face reality.

Whatever the results were, we had to face it sooner or later. So I was ready to get in there and get the test over with, honestly. These "waits", especially this one alone, has taken years off of my life I am sure. I am actually surprised I do not have grey hair already.

The day is finally here...we will find out our fate today!! Holy shit!! Here we go!

Well, I don't see how we BOTH don't have grey hair at this point!

THIS IS TORTURE!!! AAHHH!!!

Our plan was to listen to the voicemail, TOGETHER, when we got home from work. When I left work that day, I don't even remember the drive home. Just needed to get there ASAP!

When I walk inside the house, Bud is pacing around the living room, waiting on me, looking white as a ghost! He really did look like he was about to get sick. I felt so bad for him, but I knew exactly how he felt. That feeling is so hard to describe. I hope we never have to feel it again, that is for sure!

I asked him if he was ready to do this....he hesitated before finally saying,

"Yes, lets do it, come on!"

I had NEVER been this nervous in my entire life!!!! My heart was pounding out of my chest. Bud had to sit down on the couch, sweating profusely. This was it!! Our answer was on this voicemail. Nothing to do now, but listen....

......................................................................

Finding the right words from this point on is too hard to describe.

You better just watch....

https://vimeo.com/193987311