HSG

The doctor went over our options on how he thought we needed to proceed. It was going to include additional medications and procedures, but we had to keep moving forward. While I was glad we were hopefully moving in the right direction, I was still very down in the dumps. As a woman, you grow up with the intention of carrying your own child and being able to do that for your husband. I had the fear every day, that I would not get to provide that for my husband and for myself. It was such a helpless feeling, I could never truly put into words. But we could not give up!

Before being able to go forward with the next procedure, the doctor wanted me to get a certain x-ray done first. He referred to it as a HSG x-ray. I had never heard of it at the time so was not aware of what I was getting myself into. He said I had to have this done first before we order the shot injections and set up the first IUI procedure. I could do it back home in Louisville and have them fax the results to Cincy. I was not able to get an appointment to have this thing done until about 3 weeks after our appointment with the specialist.

It was scheduled in the afternoon, so I left work that day of and told my boss I would be back because I was just having an x-ray done, it shouldn't take that long. Well good lord, if I only knew how long this thing was going to take, because it sure as heck was not anything quick. Bud had asked me if he needed to come with me and I acted like it was no big deal, it was just an x-ray. No since in him having to leave work to come with me. So my dumbass went by myself. Not knowing at that moment, I really should have brought him along with me.

HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) is when dye is injected into your uterine cavity through your cervix. A small balloon is blown up inside that is filled up with dye and if your fallopian tubes are not blocked then the dye will fill the tubes and spill into the abdominal cavity. This will then determine if your tubes are blocked in any way that could be preventing anything from passing through.

|August 2015 |

When I got to the hospital for this x-ray, they had me go back to this waiting room, undress from the waist down and cover with a hospital gown, and something over my head. I sat back there for about 45 minutes before they came back to get me. Two nurses were there when my name was called, and they were dressed as if they were ready for surgery. I immediately got a little freaked out. I even thought to myself, "Do they have me down for the right test?"

I make it into the room where this x-ray is going down and it does not look like your typical x-ray room. It literally does look like I am about to go into surgery. There was a huge metal table with monitors around it, a table beside it with all kinds of scary looking medical devices that looked painful and huge lights surrounding this table that I assumed I will be laying on. I was seriously intimidated and wished I had done a little more research on what exactly I was having done today!

The nurses went on asking me a lot of questions, which I do not even remember what they were now, had me sign all kinds of paperwork and then briefly described how this "x-ray" would play out. As she was explaining it, I really lost focus when she showed me what was going to be inserted inside of me. Like WTF? I did not sign up for this. This "x-ray" had to be performed by one of the doctors in the hospital so they were waiting on him to arrive. They went ahead and positioned me on the table and made sure I was as comfortable as possible. But you really cannot get comfortable on a metal table, just saying. When the doctor came in, he spoke extremely fast about what he was going to be doing and at what point he was going to have to move me when everything was inserted. I was still lost, still not focused, just scared and really wishing Bud was here to hold my hand!

When this thing finally started, it first felt like I was having my regular pap smear done and thought, ok maybe this won't be so bad. But then more objects were being inserted and the feeling was not so familiar anymore. I began to feel the balloon in my lower stomach and as he said, "Ok, we are going to blow it up now, be very still..." I got so nervous! I started feeling this awful cramp that then started to feel like something my uterus was about to explode. The pain was getting worse and worse and I couldn't help let out a scream and a lot of loud growls I believe. The two nurses were on both sides of me holding my hands, which was sweet, but I know I was probably grabbing them way too tight. I hear the doc say, "Here comes the dye.." and there it went. Sure as heck felt all of it just flowing up through me. He then re positioned my legs, now on the table with my knees slightly bent, and the two nurses started pulling my body back on the table. They kept telling me to hold my position, we were almost done, but I felt like they were saying that for an hour. Once they got me in position they THEN started taken the x-ray pictures. The pain was excruciating and they had to try to get me to slightly lay on each side without losing position of the balloon INSIDE OF ME! Gosh, I am in pain again just reliving this moment. I had tears rolling my face as I tried to keep quiet. FINALLY they were finished and started removing everything out of me. = ( Ugh..That was freakin terrible!

The doctor told me right then and there that everything looked great, "textbook normal," he said. While I felt good about that, my insides were feeling something else. I could not get over what just happened. Came in there definitely NOT expecting all of that. The doc left and the nurses stayed in the room with me for a while. They had me lie there for a few minutes before getting up. And when I did get up, I see blood on the sheet under me. They had me wipe myself off and try to get as much of it off as possible. They then helped me to the bathroom to clean up.

When I finally got in the bathroom and was in there alone I just sat down and cried. I could not explain the emotion that just came over me, but it was so overwhelming in that moment. Why did I have to go through this? Which I know is selfish to say, but I just still could not believe this position I was in. I just wanted to have a baby and start our family. And if all these doctors, so far, have not found anything seriously wrong with me, why am I having these complications? Why can't I just get pregnant the way everyone else does? I just want this all to be over!

I went back to work that day and my emotions inside were all over the place..I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs!!!!!! But tried my best to not let any of those emotions show.

But it was over with now. On to the next procedure!

Above photography from http://www.dallasivf.com/fertility-testing/hysterosalpingogram-hsg/